I can feel, something happening
that I’ve never felt before
Hopeless dreaming will start,
Dragging me away from heavens door
I know when I’m not, i’ll be hoping i don’t drop to a place where I will rot like before,
i need someone to tell me that what i’m doing is ok
don’t feel strong enough to tell myself that it is. i feel disgusting.
it seemed to be easier in an active ED than it is forcing myself to recover.
i hate birthdays.
i try to pretend i love them, that i’m excited, try to convince myself.
dunno why.
birthdays bring me down.
they come with expectations to have an amazing time. and that rarely does end up happening.




